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“Ow, it hurts,” Addi mewled.
“It’ll suck more if we don’t get you sorted now. Can you stay still enough that I can get this looking neat?”
“It cut my eyelid.”
“Nicked it, you’ve got a little separation going on the lower lid. Going to get to that in a second. Let’s do the other parts first. Get less rusty in my suturing technique before I do the hard part.”
“It stings. The blood, I think.”
“Blood and tears. At least it didn’t slice the eye itself, as far as I can tell. Don’t let up the pressure.”
“It’s sticking, then it pulls.”
“You know what makes it pull less? Pushing. Push down. Both towels.”
“It hurts when I push down.”
“Then by all means, ease up on the fucking pressure and you’ll get some great pain relief when you pass out from blood loss.”
“I’m already feeling not great.”
“Is this going to scar?”
“Probably. But-”
There was a pause. Highland swore under his breath.
Addi was crying.
“But if you stop wriggling, I can make it clean enough you can cover it with some makeup, maybe. And if you’re going to cry, soak it up with the towels.”
“I’m not trying to wriggle. Or cry.”
The suturing job continued.
“Was that Gio?”
“Who?”
“The girl who cut me. I saw a glimpse, after the fabric of the hood separated. Gio!?”
Highland twisted around and looked back. Valentina was there, close enough to overhear, but not quite in view.
“Gio, you don’t understand!”
“Your shouting is making you wriggle. Ease up,” he said, gruff.
“Your dad asked me to. A few people at school were already talking about the Cavalcantis as an organized crime group. It came up at this big meeting with the family. Nicholas, Davie, Andre, the Butcher, my dad, the others from out of town, one old guy from overseas. My dad asked if Nicole and I could massage things. Then later, when it was a smaller group your dad asked me. I didn’t feel like I could say no.”
Highland twisted around and leaned to the side, to get a look at Valentina. Addi was a bit further back, sitting, and at the wrong angle, still.
Addi continued, “He talked about how your brother was too soft, growing up like he did. And you were following right behind. He sounded dangerous, when he told me. Like if you didn’t toughen up, it’d be me. He said I’d be clear of any consequences. Your uncle sounded annoyed, but he agreed. We talked about how to handle it, then my dad and I left. My dad said to do it. In a serious way.”
“How to handle it?” Valentina asked. Resentment burned in her chest. She was getting angry again.
“It is you.”
Highland twisted around to look at Valentina again.
“This hurts so much, I’m so freaking scared,” Addi said. “My face is ruined.”
She started to cry.
“Good,” Valentina said.
The word seemed to interrupt the crying, as if a moment’s shock cut past it all. Then the crying resumed, harder than before.
Highland finished the sutures, then muttered about holding eyelashes and stitching the eyelids. Addi whimpered.
Valentina couldn’t bring herself to feel bad- or feel much of anything. She could hold her hand out and her fingers trembled. But it felt in a way like the storm that had dogged her for a while had quieted.
She thought, inexplicably, of the man whose neck had broken. He’d been a soldier. Had probably been brought into the gang at a pretty young age, eased into things. Valentina figured a lot of the youngest members got their start with a kind of family sanctioned shittiness. Shoplifting, skipping school, thrashing some people.
She’d known the family was shady, but hadn’t realized how badly until the cyberbullying had started.
She’d killed him, she was pretty sure. He’d been dead before Highland had pretended to finish him off. Who was he, even? Because he wasn’t just that. He wasn’t just a kid who’d gotten into trouble, maybe been picked out of the group to run errands, and gradually elevated up to a certain role. He’d been a person, with a family. He’d worn diapers, had reached for his parents, had cried for trivial reasons, had potty trained, learned his ABCs, had maybe been nervous about going to school, had splashed in puddles and played with sand. He’d made friends and dealt with teasing, he’d probably fallen in love.
And he’d lived events that made him a more unique person. Someone who’d been willing to put a gun in a delivery boy’s face and tied him up. Someone who’d had porn as his phone wallpaper. Did that mean he’d been shitty to women? Or was it ironic? Or was it normal? She didn’t know enough guys and hadn’t seen enough guys’ phones to know for absolute sure.
He’d died paralyzed, hurting, probably scared. What had he thought about, as his breathing got harder?
Tears came to her eyes.
She was glad she could cry over it. Because when it came to Addi, she couldn’t.
Highland finished, then started with the bandaging.
“Keep talking about how it happened,” Valentina said.
“Is this going to calm things down or is it going to rile you up?” Highland asked.
“I don’t know. But I need to hear.”
Highland was silent as he resumed the bandaging.
A good few seconds passed.
Highland sighed, then said, “We should figure out-”
“Hold on,” Valentina said. “Sorry.”
“Fucking… this isn’t what I signed on for.”
“Please,” she said. “Addi, you ruined my life. I had nobody. At home or at school. I couldn’t do group work unless teachers paired people up with me, and then they ignored me. My entire way of thinking and feeling got warped.”
Silence.
“I feel really normal, a lot of the time. But I don’t feel anything about how I cut you,” Valentina said, voice quiet. “A little shaky, from adrenaline, and I think I could cry if I hurt someone else. I feel really bad for this guy here, you know? Who’s doing the stitches? But I feel almost nothing for how you’re hurting.”
Silence.
“I think even if you said really awful stuff, it’s better than you saying nothing, because the whole rest of it, everything that happened because of you… it’s so big I can barely see you. Talk, so I can see you. What you did, why. Or you’re so nothing I could do it again.”
It felt like someone else saying the words. But they were reasonable words, when she wasn’t feeling very reasonable.
“The fuck is that?” Addi asked.
Apparently fucking Addi was too dumb to put the words together.
Highland spoke up. “You hurt her, she hurt you, you’re chained to a toilet and a sink, she’s not. I can try to keep you safe, but I’ll be honest, this isn’t what I signed up for, and I’ve got other things to do. I can drive her to another city and stick her in an apartment, she could probably find her way back here, and I might not be around when she does. My recommendation? Tell her what she wants to hear.”
“Tell me the truth,” Valentina said.
“Sorry,” Highland said. “You cut someone, you have them chained up. You don’t get the truth. She’ll give you what she thinks you want. Or she’ll say nothing and maybe you cut her again. I fucking- fuck this.”
He stormed to his feet. He picked up his things, taking all needles and things out of Addi’s reach.
“Don’t leave,” Addi said.
He made it a few strides, then tossed them to the side of the door. Valentina scrambled to get into his way.
“Wait,” Valentina said.
“Please,” Addi said, behind him.
He huffed, breathing hard, an expression of rage flashing across his face. It spooked Valentina, but she didn’t budge.
It felt like if he left, he might leave for good.
“I pissed myself when she cut me,” Addi said, voice cracking, as the words came out.
Valentina felt a small, inexplicable surge of… triumph? on hearing that.
“I noticed,” he said, his back to her, glaring at Valentina. “Plan was, I’d pass on responsibility. Go to each prisoner, have someone who wasn’t a grown man keep watch and manage inventory while each of you showered, changed. But I can’t do that now, can I? I’m still on watch. Still having to compromise. Still having to figure out how to be goddamn decent, keeping a prisoner.”
“Bolden’s coming,” Valentina whispered.
“That’s not the issue,” he growled. “The fucking issue is this is not what I signed up for! I thought you were hers. But you’re his. Cavalcanti’s.”
He’d said the ‘not what I signed up for’ part loud enough for Addi to hear, before dropping his voice.
“I’m hers,” Valentina said, feeling alien in her skin as she admitted it. “She rescued me.”
He shook his head a bit, like he didn’t believe her. His breaths came in hot, hard, and even though a few feet separated her, she could feel the faint heat of them. It struck her that he had to weigh almost twice as much as she did. That he could overpower her. Her power here was minimal.
Valentina stepped closer, then closed the door behind Highland, for good measure.
“Please!” Addi’s voice raised, shouting from the inside of the closed room. “Don’t leave!”
Valentina swallowed. “I didn’t expect to hate her this much. For this to be a problem. I think we can help her. Your voice on the phone.”
“And her man. Her husband?”
“Yeah.”
“Mister!” Addi shouted. The chains rattled, and she banged- maybe kicking the side of the shower.
“Yeah. I think you’re fibbing. Because I don’t think anyone could know how to help them, or how they’re doing.”
“I don’t know. Except I know my- I know Davie. I don’t think he would.”
Highland stared at her.
“I’ll talk!” Addi shouted.
“This information helps,” Valentina told Highland.
Addi had stopped crying, and started talking, seemingly removed from her own emotions. It puts her on a weirdly similar page to me, Valentina thought.
She leaned past him, then pushed the door open.
He had clearance to walk without having to shove past her. He didn’t take it, standing there, angry.
Valentina worried he’d leave if she said or did the wrong thing, so she stayed there, by the door, out of Addi’s view.
“Talk,” Valentina said, quiet.
Addi’s voice had become a little disconnected from her emotions, that pleading and intensity before. It seemed eerily similar to how Valentina felt, and how she was approaching this.
“They paid me. I said I could do it alone without risking it getting out of control. They gave me money to pay others. It was mostly people at school talking about it, so I steered the conversation, paid others who could steer it too. There was a guy who said no, so I told my dad, and then the guy changed schools a few days later.”
Valentina, sitting so her face and body were out of Addi’s view, stared at the ground.
“I steered things. Told people how to be anonymous so it wouldn’t come back at them. It didn’t really matter, because your dad wasn’t going to do anything anyway. I kept people enraged and engaged, paid some of the students people paid the most attention to, to keep the idea alive enough. Most of the work was shaping the narrative, so attention was on an old story of your dad hurting someone and getting away with it, and not that your uncles were also in it. It was all contained within the school, and most of the info flowed from me and like, five other people, or we could at least sound like authorities if another school nearby picked up on it. I was pretty good at it.”
“Were you?” Valentina asked, voice going cold.
“I-I did what was necessary to sell it to your dad that I was doing the work. He kept paying me. Sometimes he asked me how you were reacting, what you were doing. I kept it general.”
It felt like Addi was belatedly changing her tone and softening her role in things, realizing she’d overstepped. Which made Valentina angrier.
“You did only what you had to?” Valentina asked. “You kept it ‘general’? I saw you. You enjoyed it.”
There was only silence.
“Addi,” Valentina said, even angrier now. She stepped forward, and Highland got in her way.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m worried you’ll cut me again.”
“I’m more likely to do something if you aren’t honest.”
“I- I enjoyed it. You have to understand, it’s… when I was nine, I didn’t want to go to this party where Nicole and a bunch of other girls would sneer down at me, even though my dad made good money. I didn’t understand. My dad started to break it down for me. How things were structured, how we- my dad and I, we supported your family. We thrived when you guys thrived. I was lesser, I was weaker, I wasn’t really part of the family. That got better as we got older and the social circle got smaller. But it never felt good.”
“Hurting me felt good?”
“It felt like I had a place. A reason. I could push you a few rungs down the ladder, climb a rung.”
Valentina looked aside.
Addi continued, “I spent, I dunno, spent ages twelve to sixteen thinking about how I could marry a decent-enough Cavalcanti boy, I’d be in. That last year, year and a half, I felt like the world opened up to me. If it carried on like that, I could marry anyone I wanted and still be a part of things, without losing- without losing what was good about it. It was at your expense, but… I think you know how suffocating that entire environment and family can be. It’s- it’s a fucked up dynamic, and it fucks up everyone who comes close to it. You. Me.”
“Yeah?” Valentina asked. She paused, shaking her head. That was a transparent attempt on Addi’s part, at the end there.
It kinda worked though.
Like the world made a bit more sense.
She thought of the thrill she’d felt, momentary, when Addi had talked about pissing herself. Of the guy she’d delivered the package to, who’d been an asshole, and how much she’d wanted to bring him down. Even paying Mia’s contacts to do it.
It was similar.
The Cavalcantis had infected her. Her dad had contrived to… to train her, or push her, and it had worked on a level.
“Okay,” Valentina said.
“Please don’t cut me again.”
“I have ideas,” Valentina told Highland.
“Do you?” he asked. He was still angry.
“Do you want to watch me while I watch her?” she asked. “Is that decent enough?”
“Addi,” Highland raised his voice. “How do we feel about that? I watch this one, while she watches you? You shower, dress?”
“I’d rather it was you.”
“It’s not going to be,” he said. “So what do we think?”
“Okay.”
It took a bit. The water heater was crap in this building, but at least the water hadn’t been shut off altogether. She remarked on it, and Highland said Mia worked magic sometimes.
Well, he didn’t use her name.
Ten minutes for each of the girls to shower, dry off, and change into the very basic clothes provided- Mia had sent whoever had brought the last replacement car to do some shopping beforehand. She’d arranged it from her desk while talking to Gio and compiling information.
They were nearly done when Bolden came, along with the woman called the Angel of Death- she didn’t want to use her actual name. The woman helped Bolden up the stairs, then took over watching Sara as she got sorted. Highland talked her through making sure that everything that went into the bathroom came out, and the two points of contact with the chains.
Nicole, Sara, Addi, and the delivery guy got a couple books from a recent bestseller list to help them pass the time.
After that, there was a quiet discussion between Highland and the Angel of Death. They weren’t trying to keep their conversation hush-hush, so Valentina caught fragments while getting up, away from the intense little guy who looked like he’d been slathered in ashtray water and dried in the same kind of machine that made beef jerky, and got some of the food. Kid’s lunch things and camp food. There was a darting movement in the corner of her eye that might’ve been a mouse sniffing out the potential meal. Or it might have been fatigue.
She stayed awake, though. She got some paper, then began making notes, scrolling through her phone, trying to put information down so that when she tried to explain it, she wouldn’t be spending half her time scrolling and poking at the screen to get to the right pages, reminding her tired brain what was where. She ended up eating three of the food packs that were probably aimed at feeding grade schoolers during lunch.
In the meantime, the same food selections were offered to each of the prisoners. They took them, then ate.
Bolden watched two upstairs, while Highland positioned himself to watch the other two on the ground floor, while still being part of the imminent conversation.
“I think we ask Addi how she sent stuff out to her network,” Valentina said. “We want to hurt them? If they care about shaping a narrative, let’s ruin that.”
“Okay,” Highland said. “Seems like a kick to the shins.”
“Maybe more than that. But yeah,” Valentina said. “It’s a really nice school. The kids of pretty much everyone important go there. Stuff filters up, I guess? But I think that’s an extension of who Davie Cavalcanti is. When he went after M- after the voice on the phone, he confronted her. I was hiding nearby. She said he wanted control. My uncle, Nicholas Cavalcanti, is running the family. Davie is expanding its influence into different areas.”
“Different spheres,” the Angel of Death said.
“Yeah. And it suits him. He’s a control freak. He-”
The images of the torsos in the basement and the sounds they made flashed through her head.
Destroying her momentum.
“He’s a control freak,” Highland said, gentler than he’d been before. Helping her get on track.
“He’s going for control over local politics. Law. They’re going to be like this unofficial enforcer arm for the government. If the Kitchen is running ninety-five percent of what happens around here, and they start acting like they’re offended by the protests against the local government, or the federal government, they can suppress the protests while government… decides what they want to look like. Maybe if they pretend to stop the Kitchen from hurting protesters, it shifts how things look?”
“We could speculate forever,” Highland said. “It gives him a lot of influence.”
“And vice-versa. If the government starts going easy on the Kitchen, if they start helping it, in exchange?”
“Yeah.”
“There was something about satellites,” Valentina remembered.
“Yeah. Our voice’s right hand man said something about that. We’ve been doing our best to avoid giving any eyes in the sky a clear sense of where we’re going, but even that doesn’t feel good enough,” Highland said.
The Angel of Death, sitting by the window as she kept half an eye in that direction, nodded her agreement.
“So let’s take that from them. Let’s… tear it down. He wants control over the school and messaging? We use Addi’s communication network, give up info. He wants control over the gang landscape, let’s call in all their old enemies. He wants the Kitchen to ally with the local government? Let’s… make them the opposite of that.”
Highland turned. “Hey, Angel, I don’t mean to be rude, but…”
“I’ll check on the prisoners. Second set of eyes.”
“Thank you.”
The very ordinary looking woman got up, fixed the collar of her jean jacket where it had flattened against one shoulder, then walked away. Her shoes had raised heels that clicked as she walked.
Valentina looked at Highland. “Nothing lingering, like you hate. We make one good stab at working this out.”
“And how do we get the voice on the phone out?” Highland asked. “Or did you forget about-”
“No,” Valentina cut him off. “No, I… I was thinking about them. I really was. But it’s tricky. I think we have to do like you said. Deflect. We give them me.”
“You,” Highland said, gruff.
“Yeah. They’re being attacked all of a sudden, things are going wrong. Kidnappings. I take the blame, it eases the pressure on the voice on the phone, and her right hand man. Have they called the soldier they had outside the house, yet?”
“I’ve had the phone turned off.”
“What time is it?”
“Early afternoon.”
School’s going to be out. Josie.
Would there be retaliation?
“We have to get started, then,” Valentina said. She fidgeted with the water bottle she held. “Fast. Get to where we can make or answer that call.”
“Do we?” Highland asked. “Because you know how this goes, with your plan? They expect those other two to handle it, handle us as a problem. Then when they fail, they get executed.”
“That’s okay, it buys time.”
“It’s not okay. It’s a start,” he said. “I don’t think we break the Cavalcanti’s back, doing this. I don’t think we rescue who we want to rescue. That’s how we start. How we end is… we give them an opening.”
“The voice on the phone and her right hand man?” Valentina asked.
“It was a lot easier when we were face to face, and I didn’t need a name for him,” Highland said. “I don’t want him to be ‘her right hand man’, that’s a mouthful.”
“To me, my new life, he’s my uncle,” she said.
Was that giving up too much information?
Who knew?
She was tired.
“That won’t get confusing with your uncle Nicholas and Andre-?”
“No. They’re not family anymore.”
“Okay. I can live with that. The voice and the uncle. How well do you know them?”
“On a scale of, of zero being nothing at all, and ten being… like they were in the living room, acting like they read each other’s minds, so their lies coordinated? I don’t think they planned out everything in advance, but they matched up in what they gave Davie.”
“Secret signals?”
“I think they’ve worked together really well for a long time. And C- Uncle is very good at adapting to new situations.”
“He is,” Highland said, sighing heavily. “Fuck me. Okay. Because I’d want to give them an opening to get away. How do we get them out? Do we find them, and make a frontal attack, knowing they escape the rear? Smoke things out, inside wherever they’re being held? Knowing they can manage in the chaos?”
“It’s more likely to be… systems. She had what they called landmines. Stuff where if someone went looking in the wrong place, it’d give her a warning.”
“There were other codes.”
“Yeah. But I’m not sure how well any of those work, if they have people watching over their shoulder.”
Highland sighed. “Yeah. If it was that easy, I guess they could’ve sent us a message in a free moment.”
“Highland,” Valentina said. “You’re doing this for her, right? The voice?”
“Yes.”
“I’m telling you this with one hundred percent honesty,” she said, leaning forward. “We have to act now. We have to give them a reason to think it’s not the voice or my uncle who’re responsible for the dead Cavalcanti soldier. Before three-forty-five.”
“That’s school getting out, isn’t it? I saw pictures of kids. They weren’t nieces and nephews?”
She shook her head.
“Okay. Then we need to broadcast our intentions before then. Get their focus off the house.”
⯁
The phone suggested a set of rules. Assume every cell call could be traced. Most cell calls could be triangulated in seconds. In dense areas, that could pinpoint a location around the time someone picked it up.
In rural areas, it was less precise, but the routes to get around were far worse. And even in rural areas, there were more and more towers, that made it easier to triangulate.
If they were watching a phone, then they’d be right on top of things.
Taking that a step further, Mia was on the other end of things. Mia would be looking to prove herself. Not too hard, but enough she was worthwhile.
Would she have access to the live satellite stuff right away? Did Valentina think Davie would give Mia access? No. He wouldn’t. How sure was she? Ninety percent.
That number would change if there was pressure on him or if he had a target in the crosshairs he really wanted removed.
Maybe giving him a reason to give Mia access could help things, in a roundabout way.
They just had to be ready to deal with the fact they were being tracked from above.
They walked fast through a downtown area. Things were a little chaotic, with a dangerous protest about a ten minute drive away, but people had their shopping to do. Normalcy to cling to.
Highland nudged her. He’d spotted a girl, much younger than Valentina, but heavyset and roughly the same height, who was wearing a sun hat.
She wasn’t sure, but he seemed to think it was the best they’d get, and they were running out of time.
The density of the crowd on the sidewalk made navigating hard. They got close to that pair.
Her heart thumped. She felt exposed, being out here. She wasn’t good at being around people. It was part of why running away had scared her. Part of why she’d felt it was necessary. She’d thrust herself out into the world, force herself to interact with strangers, or die.
So long as she got away.
Highland nudged her again.
He was calling?
It was too early.
They passed the dad and his daughter in the sunhat. She glanced back, using the corner of her eye, pretending to look at displays. The dad had stepped aside to dial his phone, and looked around.
Highland had decided it was better to call early and have a less-smooth exit, than the alternative. This gave them cover.
“Can I ask who’s answering?” Highland asked.
In the background, the dad was trying to find his wife in the milling crowds around the sidewalk. Asking about store names. Valentina knew the store- she and her friends would sometimes drive out here to shop, for a change of pace, and more distance from the parental units.
The phone Mia had sent to Valentina had had a little bit of advice. That what Valentina saw and reacted to was less important than her enemies. Every movement had to be calculated as if they were being watched. Which they were.
“You’ll want to put Davie Cavalcanti on the phone. Okay. Okay, alright, that’s fine. I’m going to ask you to remember what I say very, very carefully. We want restitution.”
Watch your gait and pace. Don’t move in a predictable way.
Valentina stopped to look in a shop window, glancing out of the corner of her eye. So they didn’t get too far ahead. They kept a couple paces ahead of the man and the sunhat-wearing daughter.
There was a pause. Valentina resisted the urge to look at Highland. She was sweating. Walking differently, back straighter, playing with her balance, putting on a idle kind of show with how she moved to sort of be… cute, like she’d seen girls from school do. She was wearing layers, which compounded it.
“Davie,” Highland said, after the pause. “And your man said you weren’t there. You screwed up, Davie. We were on your ass the moment you took him. All the way to that cabin. Some of these guys are pissed. They got a new life, and then one of the people who was supporting them and keeping it all nice and smooth, the last link to their old lives, butchered? You have no idea what you’ve unleashed. We’re closer to you than you can imagine, even now.”
Pause, as Davie said something.
Valentina’s skin crawled, heart plummeting into her stomach. There was no trigger, no phrase, it was only the idea of dealing with her dad.
“Money, yeah. For Timoteo, and for the hassle you’re causing us, removing the guy who was managing background shit for us. But if you lowball us once, we hang up, we’ll hurt you, we’ll show you how much we’ve figured out, and then we’ll come back, expecting a better offer, accounting for interest.”
They’re watching. They have to have triangulated the phone call. People will be heading to our location. But traffic sucks. Watching by satellite, they’ll be trying to figure out which person Highland is.
“I’m not giving you a price to start. Figure it out. What Timoteo’s life is worth. Either the amount’s good enough to satisfy the members of our group who’re more pissed off, or they get a chance to draw some blood.”
Pause.
“Right now. Make your offer.”
Pause.
“That amounts to less than a hundred thousand for each of us. Talk to you later.”
Highland steered her away.
They walked faster now- almost running.
They’d made the call earlier, which meant they had to cover more ground.
Down a block, weaving past groups of people who were window shopping, standing in the sidewalk, meandering, or waiting for their rides.
There. It felt weird, putting herself in the crosshairs, but there was a Shotgun coffee, and she knew for a fact that Mia was capable of breaking into those free wi-fi places.
Valentina let herself get caught on camera, pulling Highland’s arm a little. In the lead. Looking serious.
Her heart, sitting in her stomach, stewed in acid.
That’s it. I’m a traitor to the Cavalcantis. We can nail this in later. But it’s a plausible explanation. Bolden as the woodsman, the hunter, who found me when I was running away. That’s the story we sell.
After the Shotgun coffee camera shot, her face pointed in the right direction, Highland being more covert, they had to hit another destination- the transit hub. It wasn’t far off from the middle of downtown. People gathered there in a crowd, buses came and went.
Valentina and Highland entered that crowd, passed into the station area, with damaged plexiglass suspended between thick pipes painted in bold blue paint.
Her phone beeped. She checked it.
It was Moses. One of the people they’d brought back in. Saying trouble was incoming. They’d been pursued this far, this fast.
“Hurry,” she said, sweating still. She shucked off her jacket, and tied her hair up in a ponytail.
Highland took off his baseball cap, tore off the two thick strips of rust-colored tape he’d stuck to the back of his head- awful looking in person, but it worked for cameras, and shucked off his sweatshirt, tossing it onto a bench seat.
They took the first bus out, mixing with the crowd inside.
Too hard to track, like this.
Now they’d have to do it again. And again.
⯁
“Do I need to worry?” Highland asked.
She looked at him.
They’d shrugged out of their next layer of upper body clothing, gotten off the bus, and gotten onto another, in a neighborhood with trees that weren’t doing well, but still provided cover. Now they were out, away, and alone. Valentina pulled off her shirt, and it stuck to her with the sweat from running around, wearing multiple layers. Highland tugged on the back of it, helping her.
The top beneath felt insufficient.
Weird, that that was her concern, when Highland had a gun.
“Worry?” she asked.
“Will you carve Addi up again? Or scare me by doing something else, like that?”
“Her explaining it helped,” Valentina said. “It’s like… I’m in a box, but after she explained, I can see the walls of the box. Where the floor is. Where the way out might be.
“In this box, before, you couldn’t tell, and when you reached for a wall and found floor instead-”
“It’s not a very good metaphor.”
“-surprise, you cut a hostage’s face open so bad she needed thirty-five stitches.”
“That many? Wow.”
“I might’ve lost count. The fucking eyelid kept slipping out of my grip, or she’d pull away.”
She still didn’t feel bad. It was a weird concept.
“Point is, you’re telling me about some box-”
“I was in a dark place, basically.”
“And you didn’t know which way was up, and so you cut her.”
“Yeah. I guess. Like I said, it’s not a great metaphor.”
“Okay.”
“But I figured out where the walls are. Which way is up. I think. I think I need- the voice on the phone. My uncle. I can’t do this alone. I need to not be my dad, and I realized what I did to her, it was…”
She couldn’t find the words. She’d been okay, before. Even thinking them. But saying them was making them real and that came with feelings she wasn’t sure how to handle.
“Like your dad?” Highland asked.
She recoiled at that. “You don’t know how bad he is. Really.”
“I have a sense. I heard about Timoteo. The fact he’d pay people money to torment you?”
She thought of her brother.
“It’s all of him.”
“Okay.”
“She said it felt good. It felt good, making her piss herself. Hurting her. I think I’m not a good person. Like if things had happened another way, maybe I would’ve done it to her, and I would’ve enjoyed it too.”
“And you would’ve gotten your face carved up, maybe?” Highland asked.
“I dunno.”
The emotions were building up in her chest, and she started to feel nauseous.
The reality of it.
She also wouldn’t be a good person if the only thing that made it real and made her upset with it was the idea of it happening to her. Or the violence against her brother.
“I’m starting to hate myself. Does this keep going?”
“Tough question. I think the thing I’ve realized is… and maybe this is why I understand the voice on the phone, and why your uncle things she and I are similar. That people aren’t good. People are shit. We’re not as far progressed from being monkeys, banging rocks against rocks, or thinking the sun is something divine. We’re more easily influenced than we think we are. And most of us, we’ll fuck everything up. They are fucking it up. And we wade into it, using the tools we have.”
The nausea wasn’t going away, but it wasn’t welling up, at least.
“You’re looking green.”
“Distract me.”
“Okay. In the interest of fucking things up in the right direction… who are we deploying?”
“Let’s start the information campaign,” Valentina said, gripping Highland’s sleeve for support, still leaning forward in case she suddenly retched. “Addi’s thing. At the same time, we start gentle? Based on what you said before.”
“Yeah. Let’s focus on the voice on the phone, give her a window. Two groups?”
“Yeah. The Ledbetters?”
“You said they were shitty. Horrible people. They got the voice’s help because of a deal.”
“Yeah.”
“Save ’em for later. When it’s more dangerous, our enemy more on guard. Morally not right, but we can offer them hazard pay.”
“Sounds good. Um. In terms of people we’re willing to work with, who we want safe… there’s a man who built a bomb. Never used it. But he put it together, he was going to blow up a political think tank he blamed for a lot of what went wrong in the last twenty years.”
“Was he right?”
“M-the voice on the phone seemed to think so.”
Highland sighed. “I know her name, I saw it on mail in the house, so if you want to use that…”
“I don’t. She’d hate that.”
“Alright.”
They walked a minute.
“Would I be sympathetic to him? This bomber?”
“Maybe.”
“Is he good with bombs? Or was it a fluke? Or a failure?”
“Yeah. He’s good. It was serious. He’s a chemical engineer.”
“Alright. Let’s go to our next location, make the call. Sound him out. Think of a good pitch, if he’s morality-driven. I’ll lead the other team, maybe take a shot at someone important.”
“I’ve got some documents on my phone with faces, schedules.”
“Good. We’ll stop, eat, hydrate, get more layers on, maybe a wig for one of us. Then we deploy, fuck things up in the right direction. With eyes open. Keep the good ones alive.”
“The voice on the phone is one of the good ones?”
“I haven’t seen any reason to believe otherwise. She rescued you. She rescued me. Bolden. The Angel of Death. Moses. Others. She’s got kids waiting for her… we’re keeping a quiet eye on the house, using her tech, we’ve got them thinking about you, instead. She built a life for herself, then she kept going, kept giving second chances. I might object to who got those, but… I like the idea. I’d rather live in a world where that’s possible, no matter how deep you are in the shit. I’ll protect her and those she cares about. Which apparently includes you.”
Valentina nodded.
Anxiety welled up in her.
There was no time. That was the thing. They were being watched. Stalked. Every phone call, every movement, it was a chance to make a mistake. They were going to set up a bomb. Somewhere associated with people she’d eaten and had parties with.
No time, before Josie started freaking out at her absence and called someone. An absolute no– few things would make Mia feel like Valentina had failed her, than if it came to that. Did that mean she was supposed to go get them?
No time before she crumbled, or compromised something that’d change her. More than carving her cousin’s best friend’s face open.
She knelt in front of one. He had an intact eye, a little bloodshot and watery, and looked straight at her.
She leaned into him, and hugged him. He made a sighing sound. His chin thunked into her shoulder, and rested there.
The memory slapped her in the face, and brought that nausea back. It wasn’t nausea because of the condition that man had been in. The feelings over Addi and the torso man weren’t the feelings she felt like she should have.
Highland had said it. She was her father’s daughter. She didn’t want to find out how much.
Next Chapter